


Shade and Fire

by soapyconnor



Series: dysfunctional [2]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Angst, Dark Forest, Drama, F/M, OCs - Freeform, RiverClan, ShadowClan, Violence, lots of 'em
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-13 07:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11754981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soapyconnor/pseuds/soapyconnor
Summary: Shadepaw is a RiverClan apprentice, trying to find her way in the world. With a sister that hates her and a mentor that ignores her, her life gets off to a rocky start. Eventually she finds someone who gives her the respect and love she's been starving for, but at what cost?





	1. Allegiance

RIVERCLAN

**LEADER:** Blazestar – white and orange tom

**DEPUTY:** Frozenriver – white tom

**MEDICINE CAT** : Softstep – blue tabby tortoiseshell she-cat

**MED. CAT APPRENTICE:** Newtpaw – dark brown tom

**WARRIORS:** Frognose – black she-cat with a white nose

Stormclaw – gray she-cat (mate: Blazestar)

Runningfeet – long legged white tom

Longstream – tan colored tom (apprentice: Shadepaw)

Boulderclaw – gray colored she-cat

Shrewtail – brown tom

Raventail – white she-cat with a black tail

Heroneyes – gold colored she-cat

Ivynose – white tom with silver spots

Lilyfur – white she-cat (apprentice: Duckpaw)

Rowansky – brown tom with white paws

Snowspot – black tom with white spots

Maggotheart – white and brown she-cat with mangy fur

Pikewing – brown she-cat

Fallentooth – white tom with black underbelly (apprentice: Firepaw)  
Jayface – silver she-cat

Bramblejaw – brown tabby with a messed-up jaw

Redbird – red, black, and white she-cat (apprentice: Featherpaw)

Ashstripe – white tom with gray stripes

Emberfang – orange tom

Russetwing – dark brown she-cat

**APPRENTICES:** Duckpaw – white and brown tom

Shadepaw – all black she-cat with white front paws

Firepaw – all red she-cat

Featherpaw – gray she-cat with black front paws

**QUEENS:** Honeywhisker – orange she-cat (mate: Runningfeet, mother of: Crookedkit, Briarkit, and Vinekit)

Leafbreeze – brown and white she-cat (mate: Shrewtail, mother of: Cloudkit)

**KITS:** Crookedkit – brown tabby tom with a crooked back leg

Briarkit – white she-cat with an orange face

Vinekit – gray she-cat with black stripes and white front paws

Cloudkit – white tom

**ELDERS:** Sootfern – dark gray tom

Icefrost – white she-cat

 

SHADOWCLAN

**LEADER:** Dovestar – all white she-cat

**DEPUTY:** Adderfoot – dark red she-cat (apprentice: Darkpaw)

**MEDICINE CAT:** Cedarwhisker – gray tom

**WARRIORS:** Lionclaw – gold colored tom

Pebblecloud – gray tom (apprentice: Smokepaw)

Dusktail – black she-cat

Tawnytail – white she-cat with orange, black, and red on her tail

Tigereyes – brown tabby

Snaketail – brown tom (apprentice: Wolfpaw)

Rosepool – white she-cat with orange spots (mate: Tigereyes)

**APPRENTICES:** Smokepaw – black she-cat

Wolfpaw – brown tom

Darkpaw – black tom

**QUEENS:** Deweyes – white she-cat with gray spots around her eyes (mate: Pebblecloud, mother of: Olivekit and Pikekit)

**KITS:** Olivekit – olive colored she-cat

Pikekit – brown colored tom

**ELDERS:**

 

THUNDERCLAN

**LEADER:** Willowstar – light brown tom

**DEPUTY:** Mistfoot – gray she-cat

**MEDICINE CAT:** Goldenlight – gold colored she-cat

**WARRIORS:** Mintwhisker – silver she-cat

**APPRENTICES:** Whitepaw – white tom

**QUEENS:** Oneleap – black she-cat

**KITS:** Mothkit – brown and black she-cat

**ELDERS:** Wildbelly – tortoiseshell she-cat

 

WINDCLAN

**LEADER:** Redstar – white she-cat with red paws

**DEPUTY:** Poppybelly – white tom with brown belly

**MEDICINE CAT:** Birchshade – brown tom

**WARRIORS:** Weaselspots – long legged brown tom

**APPRENTICES:** Sagepaw – black she-cat

**QUEENS:** Bluestorm – silver she-cat

**KITS:** Lakekit – silver tom

**ELDERS:** Daisyspots – white she-cat with brown splotches

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me @shaderose on tumblr

CHAPTER ONE

            Shadepaw sighed, sitting in the camp clearing, waiting for her mentor to wake up. She shuffled her paws anxiously, watching her sisters Firepaw and Featherpaw leave with their mentors, Fallentooth and Redbird. Firepaw smirked at her as they walked by, and raised her head proudly. She flicked her tail, causing the tip of her tail to touch Shadepaw’s nose.

            Shadepaw wanted to growl, and bite her tail, but she felt Frozenriver and Blazestar’s gaze on her. What would they say? Especially Blazestar . . .

            She shivered, crouching down and wrapping her tail around her paws. She waited, her eyes trained on the warrior’s den for any sign of Longstream. Warriors exited and entered, none of them being her mentor.

            She looked to Blazestar and Frozenriver, green eyes hoping that one of them would notice and would take her out to train. She knew that they wouldn’t . . .

            “Hey,” a soft voice called, causing her to jump to her feet and her fur to stand on end. She looked in the direction the voice came from, and she tried to hide her disappointment when she her eyes didn’t land on Longstream.

            Instead, her eyes landed on Bramblejaw, one of the newest warriors. “Sorry,” he apologized, bowing his head. “I didn’t mean to scare you. But I noticed your looks to the den, and wondered if you’re waiting for someone?”

            “No,” she said hurriedly, “I’m not.”

            His amber eyes studied her, and she knew he didn’t believe it, but he slowly nodded. “Alright. If you don’t have anything to do, why don’t you come with me hunting then? I’m sure Longstream won’t mind,” he said, sitting down and licking his chest fur.

            Shadepaw wanted to say desperately that she would love too, but she found herself saying, “No. I’m sorry. Longstream probably has something he wants to teach me today . . . I’ll just wait for him . . .”

            Bramblejaw eyed her. “Okay,” he said, standing up, “Suit yourself.” She watched him pad over to Frozenriver and Blazestar.

            She turned her gaze away. She laid down, laying her chin down on her paws. She saw out of her peripheral vision Bramblejaw leaving, along with Boulderclaw and Shrewtail. She didn’t notice, however, the white tom approaching her.

            “Shadepaw,” Frozenriver began. She once again sprang to her feet. “Is Longstream not awake?”

            “No,” she said, trying to meet his gaze but couldn’t. “He’s still asleep.”

            “Hm,” Frozenriver hummed, “This is starting to become a habit . . . Here, come with me. We will speak to Blazestar and see if something else can be arranged.”

            Shadepaw wanted to protest, but when Frozenriver’s blue eyes met hers, she found herself nodding. She followed Frozenriver over towards the willow stump, where Blazestar was sitting. She sat a few feet back from him and his deputy.

            “What’s wrong?” Blazestar asked, moving his gaze from his deputy to Shadepaw.

            “Longstream has been sleeping on his duties again,” Frozenriver explained, “Shadepaw has nothing to do. I’m wondering what you’d like to me to assign her to do.”

            Blazestar looked at her, and she tried not to look away, but she faltered, staring at her paws. His tail swung out, touching her on the back. “Shadepaw here will join her sisters with their mentors today. After all, today is supposed to be an assessment of their abilities. Longstream’s not needed. Escort her to the marsh and explain the situation to Redbird and Fallentooth.”

            Frozenriver bowed his head, and then nudged Shadepaw to her feet. She got up, and then fell in behind him as they made their way out of the camp. When he quickened his pace, she followed. Shadepaw’s stomach clenched, and she felt like she was going to throw up.

            When they entered the marsh, all four cats looked up to see who had arrived. Firepaw looked disappointed, glaring at Shadepaw while Featherpaw smiled at her welcoming. She hesitated, then walked towards her sisters, and she sat a little behind Featherpaw.

            “Why are _you_ here?” Firepaw asked, glaring at her.

            “Now, now, Firepaw,” Frozenriver replied, scolding her, “Be nice.” Firepaw rolled her eyes and turned her head away. Shadepaw pressed her ears against her head. _Don’t stand up for me,_ she thought, as Frozenriver approached Fallentooth. He explained him the situation, his voice low.

            Firepaw clearly tried to listen in, but failed. Frozenriver pulled away, and ran off. Fallentooth and Redbird exchanged a glance, and Shadepaw noticed the look of pity. She bowed her head, and shuffled her paws.

            “Alright,” Fallentooth began, ears flicking, “This will change nothing. Firepaw, I want you to hunt as far as the lake, Featherpaw you will go all the way to WindClan territory, and Shadepaw, you will go all the way to ShadowClan territory. Remember, we will be watching you, and if you see us, you cannot talk to us. Meet back here at sun high. Understood?”

            Firepaw and Featherpaw nodded. Firepaw hopped to her feet, and took off, while Featherpaw took her time and slowly wandered off. Fallentooth took a moment, and then began to follow Firepaw.

            Shadepaw sighed, and rose to her feet. Redbird approached her. “Are you alright?” she asked, worry crossing her features. “You don’t seem like your usual self.”

            “I’m fine.”

            Redbird stared at her. “Shadepaw. You can tell me if something’s wrong. I remember you as a kit, and you were so energetic and happy . . .”

            Shadepaw ignored what she said. “So, I’m supposed to hunt as far as ShadowClan’s border, right?” she meowed, and didn’t give Redbird time to reply, “Great. I’ll be off then. See you.” She then bounded off towards the border, leaving Redbird in the marsh to stare after her.

            Shadepaw raced through the muddy area, not really paying attention to her surroundings or to the scents around her. She finally slowed, and stopped. She unsheathed her claws, and dug them into the earth. She opened her mouth, and inhaled sharply. Shrewtail had been through here recently . . . She wondered if there would be anything prey left to catch? Shrewtail’s methods of killing prey weren’t exactly the best, and often he let them squeal before he killed them . . .

            She scented the air. Her ears pricked when she realized there was a mouse nearby. She crouched, and crawled through the brush, trying to not make a sound. She spotted it, and barely took a moment to gather her senses, before she leaped, crashing down on the mouse loudly. She didn’t give it time to make a noise, she cracked her paw down on its neck. She put it down, and buried a little dirt over it, then she padded off again.

            She sensed someone watching her, but tried to pay no attention to it. She probably was wrong anyways; the other two were probably busy with their own apprentices to care about her progress. She continued her hunt, catching things every now and again, burying them for later. She caught a couple voles, but they were small and feeble things and wouldn’t fill anyone up. She came across the stream. She might as well catch a couple of fish before she headed back.

            She padded up to the stream, and kept her eyes down into the water. The overhanging branches from the trees shielded any sunlight, and so she swam across the river to where it was sunny. She stared towards the shrubbery where the ShadowClan border was, and scented for any sign of a ShadowClan cat, but only stale scents reached her tongue. So, she turned back to the river and began to fish. She did this lazily, and could sense eyes on her from across the river. She ignored it.

            Her soaked fur was beginning to dry a bit, and she was starting to warm up again when she heard the crunching of branches behind her. Her ears swiveled, and pointed behind her. She put her catch on the ground, and turned her head, eyes watching the forest. Her eyes met amber ones, and remained emotionless. Neither Redbird nor Fallentooth had amber eyes . . . She opened her mouth only a bit. Her ear twitched when she realized it was a ShadowClan cat.

            She didn’t react. It seemed the cat was just watching her, and was staying on their side of the border. She was on RiverClan’s side, so there was no reason to get into a scuttle.

            She dropped her paw back into the water, and nearly caught a fish in her claws when the bush shuttered, and she heard paw steps approach her. She pulled her paw out, and turned to the approaching ShadowClan cat. “What?” she asked, voice bored as a black tom approached her.

            “What are you doing on ShadowClan territory?” he snarled.

            She scoffed, and rolled her eyes. “This isn’t ShadowClan territory. This is RiverClan territory. Your border ends at the shrubs,” she said, standing up and turning to face him.

            The cat growled, unsheathing his claws. “Why, you! I ought to rip you to shreds,” he said, glaring at her.

            “Stop trying to act tough,” Shadepaw replied. She saw something flash over the cat’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything. “Run off. There’s no reason for there to be a scuttle.”

            The cat opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when there was a loud splash, followed by someone calling, “Shadepaw!”

            Shadepaw turned her head, and to her surprise, she saw Fallentooth swimming towards her. The ShadowClan cat’s eyes went wide, and he backed away. Fallentooth pulled himself onto the shore, and he approached the black cat. He growled, “What are you doing here? Didn’t you hear her? This is RiverClan territory. Run off, now, or else.”

            The cat stared at him with wide eyes, before he turned and ran off. They watched him go. Fallentooth turned to Shadepaw, and exhaled sharply. “Sorry about that. I just knew he wouldn’t leave unless he was outnumbered,” he explained, then hurried to the border, remarking the scent markers. He then shook his fur.

            “It’s alright,” Shadepaw said, and turned back to the river, grabbing her fish.

            “The assessment will resume,” Fallentooth said, diving back into the river and paddling across. Shadepaw followed, and didn’t say a word. She just returned her prey to the pile where her other kills were, then resumed. She didn’t feel like anyone was watching her the rest of the assessment.

            She was the first apprentice to return to the marsh. She put her kills down in front of her, and knew one of her sisters were going to outdo her.

            “Very good,” Fallentooth said with a purr, “You’ll make a marvelous warrior someday!”

            Shadepaw bowed her head, and tried to not let the compliment go to her head, because once the others return she’ll be out shone. Sure enough, Featherpaw returned with bigger, fatter kills. She only had three compared to Shadepaw’s five, but they were fair bigger than her three tiny voles, fish, and mouse.

            Redbird’s jaw fell open. “Featherpaw!” she exclaimed. “How incredible! You will surely feed our clan well.”

            Featherpaw puffed her chest out. “Thank you, Redbird. I’m proud to serve my clan.” She gave herself a lick on the chest, seeming a little embarrassed by the praise as well. Shadepaw crouched down a bit, ears pressing slightly against her head. She knew that one of her sisters would out do her. She heard crunching through the undergrowth, and knew that Firepaw would as well.

            Featherpaw looked at her briefly, before she turned her head towards Firepaw, who appeared behind their mentors. Fallentooth and Redbird turned to look at her. Shadepaw crouched down even more when she saw Firepaw with her mouth full of prey. She dropped it on the ground. “You’ll have to come and help me, I’ve caught too much!” she said excitedly.

            Shadepaw stared at her, and lashed her tail. Both of her sisters had surpassed her, like usual. She turned her head away. She’d never be better then them. Fallentooth purred loudly. “Well done, Firepaw. Your father will be proud to see how well you’re going to feed the clan today.” He turned to look at Featherpaw and Shadepaw. “Both of you take you prey back to the camp. You’ve all done well today. Take your prey to the elders, then help yourself. Redbird and I will help Firepaw fetch the rest of her prey. Have a good rest.”

            Featherpaw beamed, and then said, “Come on, Shadepaw! Let’s take our prey and go show Blazestar!” She gathered up her prey, and then bounded away towards the camp, her long gray colored tail swishing.

            Shadepaw stared down at her prey, and lashed her tail. She got up, gathering them in her jaws, and then followed, her tail and head down. As soon as she swam across the river to the camp, she heard Featherpaw calling her. She looked up, and saw Blazestar and Stormclaw standing with Featherpaw by the willow stump. She tried to brighten up, but a sense of dread was still weighing down her shoulders.

            She sat down a few tail lengths away, anxiety getting the best of her. Stormclaw eyed her while Blazestar looked at her prey. “Nice catch. You’ve done marvelously as well, Shadepaw. You’ll make a fantastic warrior someday, just like your sisters,” he said, leaning over and licking her forehead.

            Shadepaw brightened up a bit, puffing her chest out a little, when Stormclaw interrupted her moment of happiness, “You’ve done a nice job, but you’ve got to remember about what will feed the clan more. Your measly prey will do for today, but what about come leaf-fall and leaf-bare?”

            Blazestar scowled, his tail touching Stormclaw’s shoulder. “Enough. She’s done well. Leaf-fall and leaf-bare are far away as well, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

            Stormclaw’s eyes went towards the camp entrance, and she began to purr loudly. “Of course, I won’t have to worry! Not with Firepaw as our clanmate,” she said, getting up and bounding towards the entrance. Shadepaw’s shoulders hunched a bit, as she turned her gaze to the entrance and saw Fallentooth and Redbird dragging in Firepaw’s prey. Blazestar and Featherpaw both got up, bounding over to Firepaw.

            Shadepaw watched as they greeted her, and how Blazestar licked her head, and began meowing to her. Featherpaw did the same. Shadepaw knew she should go over and talk to her, but couldn’t find it in herself to do so. She picked up her prey, and padded to the fresh kill pile. She dropped all her prey except for two, and went to pad away when she felt someone’s claws snag her fur. Her head whipped around, and she saw Stormclaw standing behind her, her claws in her black fur. “What are you doing? Don’t take that pitiful prey to Icefrost and Sootfern! They deserve better than that. Take that to the kits for them to enjoy,” she spat, then padded away.

            Shadepaw’s ears twitched, she picked up two more pieces of prey, and then she turned away from the elder’s den. She padded to the nursery, ignoring how nearly every warrior came out to greet Firepaw and tell her how _wonderful_ she did. She pushed her way in through the reeds, and dropped the prey. “Here,” she said, “I’ve brought the kits prey.”

            The two queens Leafbreeze and Honeywhisker looked up. Honeywhisker’s kits, Briarkit, Vinekit, and Crookedkit, bounded up to Shadepaw. Leafbreeze’s kit Cloudkit hung back, unsure of himself. She nudged him forward, and he eventually moved from the spot near her belly. He padded forward, and began to tear into a vole.

            Shadepaw stood, watching them quietly before she realized how concerning that may look to the two queens. She dipped her head to them, and went to back out, when Firepaw burst through the reeds. “Queens! I have brought you food.” She shoved Shadepaw over, and padded past the kits to the queens. She dropped the two fish on the ground, and then rapidly padded out of the den.

            Shadepaw stood up, and shook herself off. She went to turn out of the den, murmuring, “Enjoy your meal.”

            Crookedkit stumbled forward, grabbing onto her tail with his teeth. Shadepaw stopped, and turned to look at him. He sat up, shaking his fur, and meowed, “Thank you for bringing us prey.” He looked up at her, his green eyes wide with admiration.

            Vinekit and Briarkit stumbled forward as well. “Yeah!” Vinekit exclaimed, “It’s nice to have someone specially bring us stuff!” Shadepaw dragged her eyes over the kits, noticing all their eyes shined brightly. Vinekit began to purr. “When I become an apprentice, I want _you_ to be my mentor!”

            “What about Firepaw?” Shadepaw asked, “She brought your mother that big fish.”

            The three kittens looked at each other, then looked up at her. “No, we all would rather have you be our mentor,” Crookedkit said, moving his broken back leg. “Firepaw is a good cat but she’s mean. We’d rather have you.”

            Shadepaw smiled gently at them, and gently touched her nose to Crookedkit’s. “When I’m a warrior, I will see if I can get one of you as an apprentice, okay?” she said, then gently licked his ear.

            Crookedkit beamed, and opened his mouth to reply, when Cloudkit spoke up, “ _I_ would rather have Firepaw as a mentor.”

            Shadepaw’s face went grim, and she meowed, “Oh? Would you? Well, good for you.” She stood up, and looked down at Crookedkit. “It was nice seeing you, all three of you, but I must be going,” she said, then turned and padded out of the den.

            She stepped out, and looked around. Her gaze landed on Firepaw and Featherpaw, who were lying with Stormclaw and Blazestar near by the willow stump, sharing their meal. The clan was already beginning to pick the fresh kill pile apart.

            Tense and angry at the situation, she headed out of the entrance, flinging herself into the river and rapidly paddling across it. She pulled herself out of the river, and shook the water from her fur. She needed to prove to the clan she could be just as good as the other two!

            She ran off into the forest, hunting now with anger burning through her veins. Her paws itched, and ached but she didn’t stop.

            Shadepaw looked to the sky after burying one of her kills. The sun was beginning to set. She knew she should get home, but she wasn’t going to until she had caught enough prey.

            She padded away from her kill, scenting the air. She moved deeper into the forest, her paws sinking into the soft earth. She stopped when she heard a bird. She knew that the clan preferred ground animals or fish over birds, but right now she was desperate to provide anything for them. So, she crouched down, and stared at it. It was trying to pry a worm out from the soft earth.

            She was preparing to leap, when a cat came trampling out of the forest. “Shadepaw?” the voice called, and she instantly recognized it as Bramblejaw. To her dismay, the bird heard him and took off flying. She sat up, and scowled.

            “What, Bramblejaw?” she asked, glaring at him. Bramblejaw stopped, his amber eyes wide with shock.

            “I . . . Longstream is looking for you. He wants to do some battle training . . . he sent me to fetch you,” he said, his eyes darting to where the prey flew off too. “I’m sorry about your kill. But I’ve followed your scent trail for a while and know you’ve caught many others.”

            She shook herself. “That doesn’t mean anything. I need to catch more,” she said, but then she remembered what he said about Longstream. “Longstream wants to train me?” she asked excitedly. “I will go see him then! He’s in the marsh?”

            Bramblejaw opened his mouth to speak, but then just sighed and nodded. Every muscle in her body was screaming with excitement. It had been so long since Longstream trained with her! “Okay! Bramblejaw, do you mind taking my prey back for me? Thanks!” she said excitedly, then ran off.

            She ran to the training marsh, and she came to an abrupt halt when she saw Longstream waiting for her. She tried to press the fur on her back down, then she gave herself a lick to the chest, and padded into the clearing. She stopped halfway, and said, “Bramblejaw said you were looking for me?”

            Longstream looked up from the place where he was resting. He yawned. “Yes, I was. I’d like to see your fighting moves,” he said, resting his head on his paws.

            Shadepaw tried not to frown at her mentor. “Aren’t you supposed to fight me?” she asked. “So I can react to advancements I don’t know?” Her tail dropped, and worry washed over her.

            Longstream stared at her momentarily, then stood up, stretching. He let out a sigh. “Fine,” he said, getting up and shaking his long fur. He padded so he stood a few tail-lengths in front of Shadepaw. Then he said, “Attack me.”

            Shadepaw crouched down, her tail lashing. She then leaped at Longstream. She crashed to the ground as Longstream reared up lazily, smashing his paws into her nose. She collapsed to the ground, stunned, then scrambled up. She shook herself. “What was that?” she asked, putting her paw to her nose. “That was unfair!”

            “It stopped you, didn’t it?” Longstream asked, yawning again. “Try again. This time leap at me from behind.”

            Shadepaw did so. Again, she got a paw to the face. She collapsed on the floor, and as she laid there, she thought, _This isn’t helping. What is this supposed to teach?_

            Longstream turned to her, padding lazily. He peered down at her. “That was pathetic,” he said, “You need to learn how to dodge and be fluent with your movements.”

            She looked up at him, hopefully. “Will you teach me?”

            “Maybe another time. For now, you will attempt to learn for yourself,” he replied, padding away from her. “Again.”

            Shadepaw heaved herself to her paws, and launched herself at Longstream.

 

 

            Shadepaw padded back into the clearing with her head down, and Longstream beside her. Longstream had a blackbird in his jaws, and he moved towards the fresh kill pile, dropping it without much care. Then he grabbed himself a fish, and laid down to eat it. Shadepaw followed him, and sat down, her eyes trained on her paws.

            A shadow fell over her, and she looked up to see Bramblejaw in front of her. “Hi,” he began, “how was training?” He sat down, and curled his tail over his paws.

            Shadepaw glanced to Longstream, then looked up at Bramblejaw, her ears twitching. “It was fine,” she said, shuffling her paws. “What did Blazestar say when he saw how much fresh kill I brought back?”

            Bramblejaw winced. “About that . . . Stormclaw saw me come in, and before I got the chance to say it was yours, she proclaimed to everyone that it was my doing. I’m sorry. Blazestar tried to listen but Stormclaw wouldn’t accept it,” he said, and seemed to wait for Shadepaw’s sharp tongue to give him a good lashing.

            Instead, her tail just dropped, and she said, “That’s fine. I would have expected it to happen no matter what I did. Thank you for bringing it back.” She gently touched her muzzle to his, and then got up, ready to pad away to the apprentice’s den when Blazestar and Frozenriver approached. They didn’t even stop to look at Bramblejaw and Shadepaw, instead of going to Longstream.

            Shadepaw sat down, intrigued.

            “Longstream,” Blazestar said, “We need to speak to you. Today was an assessment for apprentices and we’d like to hear your opinion about how Shadepaw is coming along.” Longstream glanced up, then back down to his fish. “Redbird and Fallentooth will also be giving their opinion, so come along.” Longstream’s ears twitched at that, and he got up, carrying his fish to his leader’s den.

            Bramblejaw and Shadepaw watched him go. Bramblejaw said, “I hope Fallentooth and Redbird rip him to shreds on how bad of a mentor he’s being—” He stopped when he saw Shadepaw’s ears press against her head. “What’s wrong?”

            “He’s going to tell them I’ve fallen behind and it’s going to put off me being a warrior. The others are going to agree with him,” she replied, claws digging into the soft ground. “I failed today at my assessment. My sisters did better than me.” She turned her head away.

            She felt his tail lay over her shoulders. “It’ll be fine! Blazestar won’t let you fall behind. He won’t let that happen to you. Even if you do fall behind, I can help you train,” Bramblejaw said. Shadepaw turned her head to see his eyes looking sincere.

            She shook her head. “We can’t. I’m not going to go behind my mentor’s back. He’ll train me. He’ll train me. We’ll get through this. Thanks though,” she said, before she padded away. She pushed her way into the apprentice’s den, and found her nest in the corner. She laid down, and curled up. She glanced at Duckpaw’s nest, then her sister’s. Her ears went down, and she rolled over so she was facing the back of the den.

            She heard someone come in, and from the heavy paw steps she knew it was Duckpaw. She heard him flop down with a grunt, and go to sleep. She wished it was that easy for her . . .

            Some time later, she heard the reeds rustle, and a familiar scent washed over her. It was Featherpaw.

            “Shadepaw?” she called gently, padding up to her. Shadepaw curled up tighter. “Shadepaw . . . I’m really sorry for how I’ve been treating you,” she meowed, sitting down and putting a paw on her shoulder. “I shouldn’t be so mean to you. There’s nothing to excuse why I’ve been mean to you. I’m sorry.”

            Shadepaw didn’t respond. She continued to lay there, curled up as tight as she could. Featherpaw laid down on the dirt, resting her head on her back. “You’re my sister,” she said, “And I love you. No matter how Firepaw feels, I’ll continue to love you like the sister you are.”

            Shadepaw’s stomach clenched, and she kept her eyes closed. She didn’t want to get her hopes up that she really cared for her. Stormclaw had already made it obvious that they weren’t supposed too.

            Shadepaw tensed as she felt Featherpaw’s tongue begin to rasp over her. Shadepaw curled up tighter, but Featherpaw continued to groom her. She tried to not move, and forced herself to sleep.

 

 

            Shadepaw woke up, surprised by a weight on her back. She went to scramble up, to turn to claw at it, but then she smelt Featherpaw’s scent and she relaxed. She turned her head towards her, gently grabbing her by the scruff of the neck. She got up, and then lowered her sister’s head back down onto the ground. She noticed that Duckpaw and Firepaw were already gone, so she quickly padded outside.

            She looked around. There was hardly anyone in camp; Ashstripe and Russetwing were heading off on a patrol, Frozenriver was organizing more patrols, Softstep and Newtpaw were heading out to get herbs, while some more warriors were working on reinforcing the camp.

            Shadepaw turned, and padded to the fresh kill pile, grabbing a vole and lying down. She began to eat, her eyes glancing every so often to the warrior’s den to see if Longstream was awake. She was nearly finished eating when a paw slammed down onto her back. Shadepaw panicked, and her head whipped around to see Firepaw behind her. “Come with me,” Firepaw growled.

            “Why should I?” Shadepaw asked.

            “Longstream sent me to get you,” Firepaw said, causing Shadepaw’s tail to stand up. “So, come _on_.”

            She hopped up, and followed her sister out of the camp. She asked, “Where are we going?”

            “The lake.”

            “The lake?”

            “Yes,” Firepaw sighed, picking up her pace.

            “Why?”

            “Stop asking questions. It’s just what he told me.”

            She stopped asking questions, and continued to follow her. She scented the air, checking to see if she could catch her mentor’s scent, but she still couldn’t find it. She started to get worried, but she pushed it out of her mind. Firepaw, for the most part, left her alone, so why would she mess with her now?

            She pushed her worries out of her mind, and excitedly raced in front of Firepaw towards the water. She stopped, and looked around, confused when she didn’t see Longstream. “Firepaw, where is he—?” she began, but was suddenly tackled to the ground.

            She flailed her front paws, and tried to get her hind paws underneath her. She felt Firepaw dig her claws into her fur. “Firepaw? What are you doing?” Shadepaw questioned, panic evident in her tone.

            Firepaw grabbed her by the scruff, and dug her claws into her back. “Look at you!” she howled around Shadepaw’s fur. “You’re so pathetic! Lying here and just accepting this! You’ll never be a RiverClan warrior!” She howled, pressing her whole weight down onto the black cat.

            Shadepaw struggled and gasped, getting her paws beneath her before shooting upwards, launching Firepaw off her. She shook her pelt and darted a few feet away. “What are you talking about?” she asked. “I’ll be a good warrior, just like you!”

            “No!” Firepaw howled, leaping up. “You are a failure! You don’t have the skills of a warrior! Can’t you see? Our own mother is already disappointed in you! Our father is going to realize soon enough what you are and will feel the same! You’ll never be a warrior.” With a loud yowl, she launched herself at Shadepaw, and Shadepaw clawed her back, but it was clear who the stronger fighter was.

            Firepaw slithered her way out of Shadepaw’s grasp, grabbed her by the scruff, and then tossed her into the lake. Shadepaw collapsed, her muzzle only halfway underwater. She opened her mouth and water pooled in, but not enough to fill her mouth. She tiredly raised her head. Firepaw growled at her, “Why don’t you just go live with a twoleg? Where you can be soft without anyone having to depend on you.” She lashed her orange tail, and bared her teeth as the wet she-cat. “You’ll never be a warrior. You’ll never be leader. You’ll just be a nobody!” With that said, Firepaw turned and padded away, leaving Shadepaw wet, muddy, confused, and hurt in the lake.

            Eventually, she rose unsteadily to her paws, and began to pad her way back to camp, her ears and head down with her tail dragging in the mud. Her body hurt, but the thing that hurt the most was her back. She swallowed harshly as she swam tiredly to camp, and climbed out, walking through the entrance.

            She didn’t notice Frozenriver had approached her until a shadow loomed over her. She glanced up, amber eyes reflecting the sadness she felt. “What happened to you?” Frozenriver asked. “Did you get into a fight with another clan cat?”

            “I . . .” Shadepaw began, then stopped. She could sense Firepaw’s eyes trained on her, and knew if she told the truth nobody would believe her. She swallowed, and forced back the tears, as she meowed, “I . . . I was by the lake. I was climbing a tree, like a mouse-brain. I fell, like a mouse-brain. I scraped my back, like a mouse-brain . . .” She closed her mouth, her mouth running dry. She chuckled. “I guess I’m just useless, huh?” she meowed, her voice cracking. “I couldn’t catch anything yesterday, am terrible in battle, and today I fell into the lake. You should just kick me out while you can, Frozenriver.”

            Frozenriver’s icy blue eyes were staring at her hard, then softened. It was clear he didn’t enjoy the apprentice’s self-depreciation comments. “You won’t be kicked out. Everyone has hard times. After all, you’re an apprentice. You’re still learning. Come on, we’ll have Softstep look at you and get you back to normal.” He then nudged her with his giant head, and they began to pad to the medicine cat’s den.

            Much to Shadepaw’s dismay, Stormclaw was in the den as well, getting treated for a splinter in her paw pad. When she saw Shadepaw, she snorted and stood up, her tail lashing. “What did you do?” she asked. “Fall in the lake?”

            Frozenriver explained the story to Stormclaw, since Shadepaw was to exhausted and to scared to even retell the tale.

            Stormclaw snorted when the story ended. “You’re pathetic,” she said, tail lashing. “Might as well drop out of the clan while you can. We don’t need to feed another cat who can’t even defend for themselves.” With another lash of her gray tail, she stormed out of the medicine cat den, leaving Shadepaw, Frozenriver, and Softstep in the clearing.

            Shadepaw sat down, and tried to hide her tears from the other cats. _They’re right,_ she thought, _I should just leave while I can. I’ll never be a warrior._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr ( shaderose.tumblr.com )

CHAPTER TWO

 

            Shadepaw laid in the medicine cat den, her head resting on her paws. She stared towards the entrance, her ear twitching when cats came and went without speaking a word to her. Her black fur had turned a dull color from lack of grooming, and her white front paws were caked with mud from her anxiously tearing the ground up.

            Newtpaw padded up to her, and dropped some tansy leaves in front of her. “Eat these,” he said, “They should help cure your cough.”

            Shadepaw raised her head, and pawed at the tansy, before coughing violently. She continued to just paw at the leaves, which caused Newtpaw to sigh, and say, “Shadepaw. You need to eat these or your cough could develop into greencough. Don’t you want to go back to your apprentice duties?”

            “What’s the point,” she coughed, pulling the tansy leaves close with a claw, “I’ll never be a warrior.”

            Newtpaw stared at her, and then sighed. He sat down, and pushed the leaves closer. “Is this what this has been about?” he asked. “You’ve been moping around here for a moon because you’re scared you’ll never be a warrior? You’ve got to be kidding! Of course, you’re going to be a warrior! You’re not going to become one if you just continue to mope around here! You’ll become a warrior if you go back to training. Now, eat your tansy.”

            Shadepaw ate it reluctantly. “But . . .” she began, “it’s clear I’m no use to the clan. No one has come to visit me since I’ve been here.”

            “You’re wrong,” Newtpaw said, shaking his head, “Featherpaw visited you while you were asleep. She was ordered by Stormclaw to not come back. Blazestar has come to see you as well, but since you sleep so much, you’ve never seen him. The clan cares deeply about you, you just don’t know.”

            “But what about Longstream? Has he seen me?” she asked, lying her head down again.

            “No, but who cares if he does? Blazestar and Frozenriver have spoken to Softstep about the possibility of reassigning you. They wanted to see if StarClan has shown any sign of that being a good idea.”

            “They can’t reassign me!” she protested, “Longstream’s a good mentor!”

            Newtpaw looked like he didn’t agree, but he shrugged. “Oh well,” he meowed, “the others don’t seem to agree. If you’d like to stand up for him, you better run off now. I don’t think it’ll be to much longer before they decide.”

            Shadepaw got to her paws, her fur standing up. “Thanks, Newtpaw,” she said, holding in a cough. “I’ll be in for more tansy later, but I think I feel well enough to return back to my duties.”

            “Just don’t overdo it,” he said, yawning, “Or you’ll end up back here.”

            Shadepaw padded out of the den, a sense of purpose in her paws. She couldn’t let them take Longstream away from her as a mentor, she needed him! No one else they could assign her to would be as good.

            For a moment, the thought of not becoming a warrior was out of her mind. She padded towards Blazestar’s den, and was about to burst in, when she heard Fallentooth say, “. . . it’s not her fault that Longstream is a bad mentor. You can’t punish her.”

            Shadepaw stopped, and then padded to the right side of the den, crouching. Thankfully, the wind was blowing her scent away from the entrance. She directed her ears towards the entrance, and listened. “No, it’s not her fault, but it’s her fault she hasn’t gotten better. Softstep has told me that she has refused most days to take the tansy offered to her. I will have to wait another moon to make her a warrior, since Longstream hasn’t given her good enough training to begin with, she’s already far behind Duckpaw and her sisters. Now she’s wasted a moon, so she’s even _further_ behind . . . I’m sorry. Next moon, Firepaw and Featherpaw will become warriors. Duckpaw will become a warrior tonight. Shadepaw will just have to wait and train hard. I can’t in good faith make her a warrior.”

            “Don’t you understand what this will do to her?” Redbird responded, sounding frustrated, “She’s going to feel alienated from us and will feel you prefer her sisters over her. You can’t do this.”

            “Unless she turns around within the next moon, I will,” Blazestar meowed, “This is for her safety. Longstream obviously hasn’t been giving her good enough training. She’s two moons behind them. Her hunting is good but her fighting skills are awful.”

            “Allow Fallentooth or I to be her mentor,” Redbird said anxiously, “We can take on two apprentices at once. Please.”

            Blazestar shook his head. “No. I’m sorry.” She heard shuffling, then she heard him say, “Frozenriver will take over for Longstream. I trust him to make sure she gets the proper training she needs. When I announce Duckpaw’s warrior name, I’ll reassign her to Frozenriver. That should be well enough, won’t it?”

            “Will you make sure she gets caught up?” Redbird asked Frozenriver.

            There was a moment of silence, before Frozenriver said, “I will make sure she’s ready to be a warrior. But I won’t rush her training. A moon under Longstream’s week training and then a moon of doing nothing will mean this is something that can’t be rushed. I will take my time with training her.”

            Redbird opened her mouth to respond, but Shadepaw didn’t wait around to hear it, she padded away with her tail down. She headed towards the entrance, and was about to leap into the water, when she heard someone running after her. “Shadepaw!” Bramblejaw exclaimed, coming to a halt next to her, panting. “I-it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! How are you d-doing?”

            Shadepaw looked at him, her ears pressing against her head. “Terrible,” she admitted. “My sisters will be made warriors before me, and Longstream will no longer be my mentor! This is terrible.” She paused and let out an angry growl. “I shouldn’t have let myself mope around for so long. I need to catch up.”

            “Well, you’re getting a new mentor, aren’t you? They’ll help you. You won’t have to worry about it, okay?” he said, pressing his muzzle against hers. “Come on, let’s go hunting. It’ll help you take your mind off things, and will get you back into the swing of things.”

            Shadepaw went silent, and thought carefully about it, then nodded. “Okay, let’s go,” she said, before leaping into the water around camp. She padded across, and as soon as she climbed out on the other end, she found Bramblejaw beside her. Together, the two of them padded off into the forest.

 

 

            Shadepaw was lying besides Bramblejaw near the lake, her head resting on her paws while Bramblejaw groomed himself. She had no idea why his presence made her feel better, but it did. She thought about it as she stared out into the water. She glanced at the dark tabby tom, and her ear twitched as she realized why. He was the only one who treated her with respect and not like she was going to break. Redbird and others treated her with gently paws, afraid that she was going to run off if they said something wrong. He didn’t seem to care. It was nice . . .

            “You did nice today,” he said, “when we’re done here the clan will appreciate your kills.” He stood up, and padded into the water, rolling around in the shallow water.

            She watched him. “That’s not what Blazestar said I had to work on,” she meowed, wondering if she should join him, “It’s my fighting I have to work on.”

            “Well, I can help you. I’m not the best, but it’ll help!” he exclaimed, standing up, his long shaggy pelt plastered to his body.

            “I don’t want to be a burden,” she mumbled. “I already have one cat having to take care of me now, I don’t want you to have to too.”

            “You won’t be a burden,” he insisted, “I need the practice anyways. Come on, it’ll be fun!”

            She stood up, and stretched. “Oh, alright . . .” she stared at Bramblejaw, who turned away from her and began splashing in the water again, not paying any attention to her. She realized that he hadn’t meant now, but it would be good practice since she’d be taking him by surprise . . .

            She dropped down, so her belly brushed against the sandy shore, and she crept up, her paws not making a sound as they hit the sand. She paused, when she saw him staring at his reflection in the water.

            Then, she pounced.

            He let out a howl of surprise, and exclaimed, “Shadepaw—!” before he went under the water. Shadepaw forced him down, pushing her hindlegs against his back before she released him a bit. He darted up immediately, his jaws wrapping around her throat and he swam upwards.

            He let her go and coughed briefly. Then he darted at her, paws hitting her chest and forcing her backwards. Together they fought in the water, swiping and kicking each other where it hurt.

            Eventually, they tired and came up for air. Shadepaw’s body was burning from not having this much exercise in a moon, and she felt light, happy even. She turned to Bramblejaw, her eyes shining at the young warrior. His green eyes were glowing, and he opened his mouth to say something to her, when they heard someone say, “ _Wow_.”

            Shadepaw froze, knowing the voice sounded too familiar. She turned her head to the shore, and saw Blazestar, Stormclaw, Featherpaw, and Firepaw standing there. While Featherpaw and Blazestar were looking at her with encouragement in their eyes, Stormclaw and Firepaw were sneering at her.

            “What are you _doing?_ ” Stormclaw asked, tail lashing. “You,” she said, directing it to Bramblejaw, “are supposed to be a warrior!” Her blue eyes turned and landed on Shadepaw, who shrank back in the water. “As for _you_ —”

            “Leave her alone,” Blazestar meowed, “Being a warrior doesn’t mean all work and no play. If they want to play fight in the water then I see no harm.”

            Stormclaw opened her mouth, but Blazestar’s amber eyes silenced her. “You’re not leader, are you?” he said, lashing his white and orange tail. He waited for her to keep silent. “I thought not. So, there’s no reason for you to be scolding them.”

            Stormclaw looked bitter, but she dipped her head to Blazestar. Shadepaw stared, couldn’t believe what had happened in front of her. Blazestar turned his head to Firepaw. “As for you, you should respect your sister some more. Or perhaps I was wrong and you’re not fit to be a warrior . . .”

            That caused Firepaw’s eyes to widen and for her to flinch. Shadepaw hid her satisfaction. Blazestar turned to her, and padded forward. He touched his nose to Shadepaw’s. “I see you’re getting back into shape. Thar’s good. I was worried about you. Keep it up,” he said, eyes shining, “I’m very proud of you.”

            Shadepaw didn’t know what to say. She just blinked at him appreciatively. He pulled his nose away, and began to pad away. Featherpaw raced up, and touched their noses together as well, before she followed Blazestar. Stormclaw and Firepaw both shot her a glare, before they followed him.

            Shadepaw waited for them to disappear before she collapsed in the shallow water. Bramblejaw approached her and began to gently lick her. Shadepaw laid in the cool water, just enjoying it. “What do you think they’re doing?” she asked. “Why were they all together?”

            “Probably assessing their skills, if they’re becoming warriors in a moon . . . Blazestar never brings the mentors with him,” he replied.

            “Why?”

            Bramblejaw shrugged, and laid next to her. “Who knows? I don’t.” He looked up at the sky. “We should get going.”

            Shadepaw stood up, and shook herself. “Yeah . . . we should,” she meowed, turning to him and rubbing their faces together. He stood up as well, and dragged his tail down her side, before they padded back to camp together.

 

 

            “. . . Frozenriver, I expect you to pass on your wisdom and strength to Shadepaw, and to finish out her training,” Blazestar meowed, as Frozenriver placed his muzzle on top of Shadepaw’s head. Shadepaw’s paws burned, and she kept her amber eyes on the ground. She could feel her clanmates’ gazes on her, and she could hear them murmuring. She could also feel Longstream’s gaze burrowing into her.

            _This isn’t what I wanted,_ she thought, _this is all your fault! If you just had mentored me right . . ._

            Frozenriver stepped away, and Shadepaw followed him to the shade of a tree. The clan went to the newest warrior—Duckmask—and congratulated him. The white and brown tom puffed out his chest and licked it, while his mentor—Lilyfur—watched on proudly.

            “You don’t have to sit by me,” Frozenriver murmured in her ear, causing her to jump, “We won’t be doing any training tonight, so you can do whatever.”

            Shadepaw looked at him, and nodded, swallowing. “I’m going to go to sleep,” she murmured, standing up.

            He nodded. “Good. Tomorrow we’re going to work on your training. Be up by sunrise!”

            She nodded, and then padded quickly to the apprentice’s den. Two warriors—Heroneyes and Rowansky—glared at her, then put their heads together. She knew what they were saying. _Why did she get reassigned to another warrior? And to the **deputy** of all cats? What makes her so special? Longstream was good enough!_

            She put her ears down, and crawled into the apprentice’s den. It felt lonelier now, knowing that she shared the den with her sisters, and only them. She wished she had someone else to share it with . . .

            She curled up in her nest, and was about to fall asleep when Featherpaw walked in. “Shadepaw!” she exclaimed. “What are you doing in here? Why aren’t you out celebrating Duckmask being a warrior?”

            “I have a long day tomorrow,” she responded, and hoping Featherpaw would leave it at that.

            Featherpaw blinked at her, then nodded. “Oh! Okay. Do you want to stay up and talk?” she asked.

            Shadepaw shook her head. “I need to go to sleep. Training is at sunrise. Maybe some other night. Go out and enjoy tonight.”

            Featherpaw instead padded towards her, and curled up in the nest next to her. She blinked warmly at Shadepaw, then laid her head down and fell asleep.

            As she began to doze off, she felt claws digging into her subconscious, and pulling her down. Or that’s what it _felt_ like . . . it had to be just a dream. That’s what her hazy brain rationalized in its state.

            Her eyes snapped open, and she sat up when she realized she was in an unfamiliar forest. She could barely see, and the trees and grass looked dead. It was dark, and she scented the air. She couldn’t smell any prey. That caused her fur to stand on end.

            She rose to her paws, and looked around. She shook herself, and then began to pad into the forest, against her better judgement. She kept scenting the air, trying to find any scents of cats or prey. She got worried as she continued to find nothing.

            She finally found herself in a clear, with small streams of light flowing through the canopy. She sat down, and stared into the forest. She felt a little fearful as it finally settled in that she really had no idea where she was.

            She continued to sit there, and felt like she was waiting for someone. Was she . . .?

            “Hello,” a voice called, causing her to jump to her paws and whip around. Her fur pricked even more when she saw a huge brown tom standing behind her, with icy blue eyes, and white socks on his front paws, a white underbelly, muzzle, and tail tip. Her claws unsheathed unknowingly, and she was ready to jump at him, when he said, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” The tom then noticed her unsheathed claws. “You better sheathe your claws. If I know how you fight—which I do—you wouldn’t stand a chance against me.”

            “What makes you say that?” she snapped. “Have you been watching me! Where are we, anyways? We’re not in the forest, that’s for sure!”

            The tom sensed her anger, but kept calm. “I have been watching you. Look around you, and you’ll realize where you are.”

            Shadepaw took a deep breath, and relaxed her shoulders. With a steady gaze, she swept her amber eyes around the clearing. She noticed how dark it was once again, and how everything looked dead . . . there was no prey . . . She glanced up at the canopy. Despite the trees being dead, the foliage was dense and was so dense that only thin rays of light could shine through.

            Her mouth went dry. She lowered her gaze, and met the tom’s blue ones. “The Place of No Stars,” she murmured.

            “Oh, come on, Shadepaw,” the tom said, letting out a _mrrow_ of laughter. “Call it what it is. Call it the Dark Forest.”

            She swallowed, backing away from him. “Who are you, and why am I here?” she asked, eyes darting around the clearing as if she was expecting the evil cats from kit tales to come out from the trees. “I’m not evil! I’m not like you!” she exclaimed, without waiting for the tom’s response, and she dug her claws into the earth. She continued, “I would never hurt my clanmates like you did! O-or whatever you did!”

            The tom’s tail slashed back and forth in the air. “My name is Hawktalon. You’re here because you need my help and StarClan won’t help you. I’m here to teach you how to fight. I know you’re not,” he meowed, slowly padding to her. She didn’t dare move, knowing he could kill her with one slash of his large paw. “Not every cat who goes to the Dark Forest is evil. I’m not. I’m here because I went against the warrior code and StarClan didn’t forgive me, even though it was for the good of my own clan. There are plenty of cats here in the Dark Forest who aren’t evil. If you stick around, I’ll let you meet some.” His eyes looked her up and down. “I promise you I won’t hurt you. I’m not like Tigerstar or any of the other evil Dark Forest cats that you know of. I’m here on accident, like I said.”

            Shadepaw looked him up and down as well. She noticed that under the rough exterior, that it seemed he was soft and kind. She didn’t want to trust him if this was a trap, but there was something about him that seemed . . . Kind. True. Real.

            Hawktalon continued to stare at her. “Shadepaw? Are you still there?”

            She jumped a bit, and shook herself. She then sheathed her claws, and meowed, “Yes, I’m still present . . . How can I trust you? Tell me what you did. Tell me what code you broke to end up here. How old are you?”

            “I’m much older than you. You won’t remember me . . . you wouldn’t have known of me anyways, because I’m originally from ThunderClan. Stories like that usually don’t leave the clan. Anyways . . . I broke the code ‘Clan leader’s word is number one’.” He sat down, and gently licked his paw before dragging it over his face. “Sit down. This’ll take a while.”

            Shadepaw did so, and found herself leaning forward as Hawktalon began to tell his tale.

            She listened intently, as he told about his leader, Rainstar, who had been such a brave and thoughtful leader. How she had lead their clan through a good era. Then she had begun to grow unstable once her mate, then kits died one by one in front of her. Each one, apparently, had been murdered in battles between WindClan. Eventually, her beloved deputy—Dustspring—was murdered by the WindClan deputy. Full of rage, Rainstar declared war on WindClan, and led multiple attacks against them. With each battle, multiple ThunderClan cats died. With each and each loss, Rainstar lost it more. Hawktalon—being her deputy after the third one since Dustspring’s death died—had tried to convince her to stop. She didn’t. She made kits become apprentices, who then became warriors before they were ready, and Hawktalon had to watch as so many kits died before they were ready.

            Eventually, when Rainstar told him to prepare a patrol to attack WindClan, he told her no. This then enraged her, and the two fought. He killed her—because it was necessary—and then went to the Moonpool once the cats recovered, and was rejected by StarClan. When he returned to his clan, they rejected him as well. He was exiled, and lived the rest of his life as a rogue. When he came to StarClan, he was chased out by Rainstar and the deputies who he succeeded. He found himself here, and was forced to live the rest of his life here.

            Shadepaw—totally believing every word that came from his mouth—curled her tail over her paws when she finished. “I’m so sorry! That’s so awful! You deserve to be in StarClan, you were just doing what was necessary!”

            Hawktalon shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me. I’m happy here. I’ve found a life. Eventually, ThunderClan will forget about me, and I’ll be reborn.” He yawned, then stood up. “Anyways. Come on, Shadepaw. I will bring you to our camp, and let you meet some other cats. Then if you’re up for it, we’ll train together.”

            Shadepaw’s paws tingled. “Yes. I’d love to train,” she meowed, and got up. Hawktalon did so as well, and he began to pad away from her. She followed excitedly, wondering what Hawktalon was going to teach her. Now with both Hawktalon _and_ Frozenriver training her, she’ll catch up to Firepaw in no time!

            Shadepaw didn’t notice that she had left Featherpaw out of her thoughts, instead she focused on following Hawktalon. She gasped softly when she they came into a clearing, and she found herself surrounded by cats. There were so many of them, and nearly all of them turned their gaze to her briefly, before they turned back to each other.

            Shadepaw looked around the camp as she followed Hawktalon. “So, you all live like a clan?” she asked. “Do you have a leader? How many of these cats are alive?”

            “Pay attention to the looks of the cats,” Hawktalon replied, “If you can see through them—even just a little bit—they’re dead. Even the cats with the darkest pelts are see-through a bit. As for the clan questions, sort of. The leaders that have been condemned to live here rule over us, but we don’t have to follow their instructions if we don’t want too. It’s just something to make us feel better and comforted.”

            “Oh, okay! Who are your leaders? Can I meet them?” she asked excitedly, while studying the cats around her. She noticed that there were more cats who were see-through then there were cats who were solid.

            Hawktalon purred loudly, and slowed his pace, their pelts brushing together. “If you want. I’m sure they’d love to meet the new trainee.”

            Shadepaw’s paws tingled at the thought of being their trainee; all her initial fear was gone. She swept her eyes over the crowd as she followed Hawktalon towards a group of cats, trying to see if she could find any RiverClan cats.

             Her tail stood straight up as she noticed a group dead RiverClan warriors. She didn’t know any of them by name, but recognized them by their pelts. Her eyes continued to scan the little pods of cats, and she stopped momentarily when she saw Ivynose and Snowspot sitting with their heads together. She was going to have to ask Hawktalon if she could go over and talk to them before they went training . . .

            “Shadepaw,” Hawktalon said, bringing her attention away from her clanmates. “This is Darkstar of ShadowClan, Daisystar of WindClan, Flintstar of ThunderClan, and—”

            “Redstar!” Shadepaw exclaimed, running towards the white she-cat with red and black dappled back, with a completely red tail. Redstar’s green eyes were confused momentarily, then she recognized the black she-cat. Redstar wasn’t leader when she was born, she had retired to the elder’s den, but Shadepaw had gotten to know her very well up until her death.

            “Hello, Shadepaw,” Redstar greeted, her eyes glowing warmly.

            “Redstar, what are you doing here?” Shadepaw meowed, “Shouldn’t you be in StarClan?”

            Redstar glanced towards the other leaders, her paws shuffling. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me or any of your clanmates,” she meowed, “Some night while you’re here I may explain this to you, but not tonight.”

            Shadepaw frowned, but nodded understandingly. “Alright,” she said, and stepped back. Her eyes swept over the other leaders. There were five cats sitting near Redstar and Shadepaw’s tail twitched as she realized two of them were her age. She ignored them for now, and swept her gaze on the leader on the far left. The first cat was a midnight black tom littered with scars, and amber eyes. The one to his right was a cream colored she-cat with brown eyes, and only a few scars. Between her and Redstar was a gray tom with green eyes, and a wrenched hindleg. _Darkstar, Daisystar, Flintstar_ . . . Shadepaw thought, before dipping her head. “It’s nice to meet you,” she greeted.

            Daisystar licked Shadepaw’s ear in greeting, while Flintstar dipped his head. Darkstar’s tail lashed. “I see Hawktalon has made a wise choice in an apprentice,” Daisystar meowed, eyes glittering.

            “Oh, don’t say that,” Darkstar grunted, “She hasn’t done anything yet.”

            Shadepaw tried not to flinch, and met Darkstar’s gaze. “I hope I can live up to the expectation,” she meowed.

            He looked at her, and nodded, then turned to the black tom and the brown tom sitting next to him. “Here are my sons, Wolfpaw and Darkpaw. I’m taking up Darkpaw’s training while Flintstar is Wolfpaw’s,” he meowed, sounding indifferent.

            Shadepaw nodded to Darkpaw and Wolfpaw. “Hello,” she said. Wolfpaw dipped his head, while Darkpaw’s tail lashed. Wolfpaw meowed a greeting, while Darkpaw stared at his paws. Shadepaw tensed, and looked at her paws as well, feeling a little off. What had she done for him to act like this to her? A sense of anger went over her. Why did he think he was better then her that he could treat her this way?

            She raised her eyes and noticed Darkstar whispering in Darkpaw’s ear. His ear twitched, then he looked up, and offered Shadepaw a friendly lick to the ear. “It’s nice to meet you,” he whispered in her ear, sending shivers through her body.

            She flinched away from him, still feeling a little angry. “It’s nice to meet you as well,” she replied, dipping her head. Darkstar’s eyes glittered, but Shadepaw could sense there was something else in there besides amusement.

            Hawktalon’s tail rested on her shoulder. “Come on Shadepaw. We’re losing twilight,” he meowed. “You can speak to them tomorrow.”

            Shadepaw dipped her head again, then padded up to Redstar and licked her shoulder. “Goodbye, Redstar,” she said. Redstar returned the favor, and then Hawktalon and Shadepaw padded off into the forest.


End file.
